worrynotprincess

Summer had a smell of taurine. Each morning the sharp and addicive smell of an energy drink penetrated my lungs, my throat, my veins, cutting my tounge with the sweet and metalic taste. My heart beats faster the colours become brighter, saturated, agressive. Hands shake, sun shines, my vision is clear. Reality is cruel, it attacks my organism, cuts my iris with the bright light and everything's so itchy, disturbing. I'm missing, longing, asking, searching, running around like crazy scratching my skin of the harsh words and looks. And then he comes. Like a lotion to a dry skin. Like an answer to an inner question. Like rain after a long drought. I liked his eyes in the morning, sleepy with eyelashes glued with a dream. I liked his sweet words and little promises, winks, signs, little pieces of paper stuck to my desk. The lies went further and further, the illusions were bigger and bigger and I was falling deeper and deeper. This is where if find myslef now. On the bottom. Of every dream and every colour. Of every ray of light and wave of summers' smell. And the summer smelled like taurine and sweat and stress and love. It smelled like destruction and risk, sweet mornings, bitter evening. It smelled like the speed of my hearbeat like the stupidity, like the jealousy, like the craziness that runs throught my veins. And here we go now. Cold air, artic sky, lonliness, problems, rejection and grey smoke. It was all too coroful, fake and plastic, deceiving and bland. The real is the bitter, it's shivering and not being able to tell anyone anything.