training about darkness

if once you had come into the darkness, you couldn't  have gone outside. it's part of yourself. you are grabbing for it deeply. but you should learn about your darnkess and start to love this gift. 

first step: you are trying to throw it out but the more you are trying, the less probably is it. you were born with this, sourrounded by deep, naked feeling of disaster. you cannot change it. but in this step, you don't know about it yet. probably you're thinking: "it was just once". 

so, secondly you are trying to hidden it, because youd had discovered that this is happening more than once, twice... it's your shame, your issuess, your course. you are starting to hate it, you don't understand why exactly this had happened to you. you are helpless and hopeless. you want to be "normal" (whatever this mean). you don't know yet, that you need this for completely exist. 

thirdly, you are trying to forget about it. your aim is bright and clear, you are trying to avoid this sick, disgusting (in your opinion) curvature. you are still hate darkness. but in this level you are starting to accept this, you know, you were born with this but you absolutely don't want live with this, so you are trying to forget. strongly. 

fourthly, this is coming back to you in various life situations. but you are stronger and you are learning how you can live with this flaw. you are starting to love this part of you. it's enormous and demaging tool - by experience you know this. and you want to start using this power in good meaning - not only for destroy. so, you're trying. sometimes, you're frustrated, sometimes, satisfied. but for you world never had been just white or black. yes, it were always grey, but now its thousand shades of grey. and this knowledge is electrifying, receiving breath in the breast. you are completely lost. but you know what? if you swim into darkness, you'll find the answers to all your questions. all of you need - it's just time.

so, take the breath and jump into source of darkness, deep emotions. into source of you... because it's just You. it's only You. there is nothing to be scared.