Hospice, family help Jefferson couple renew wedding vows

Tammy and Romaine Smith always wanted to renew their vows, but there never was enough money. Now it looked like there might not be enough time.

After many years of health problems and lengthy hospital stays, Tammy was told her lung cancer had metastasized and her Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease was advancing. There was nothing further doctors could do for her.

Thanks to the care workers with Agrace Hospice, she has been able to live at home for the past year in as much comfort as possible.

Meanwhile, the hospice and family members have stepped in to fulfill some of Tammys longtime dreams, including a renewal of their wedding vows, which took place in October at St. Mary Help of Christians Catholic Church in Sullivan.

The Smiths always have resided in the Jefferson area, unknowingly bouncing off one another throughout their early lives before officially meeting on a blind date.

My cousin set us up, Romaine recalled. I was dead set against it.

I was against it, too, Tammy said. Id gone on a blind date before and it was a total flop, but I had nothing to do for the night, so I went along with it.

It was nothing fancy  just an evening at Witts Bar in Sullivan, but the couple immediately hit it off. They saw each other for several nights straight and soon they were inseparable.

They married on April 26, 1986, when he was 26 and she was 25. They have lived in Jefferson ever since, raising two daughters.

When we first came to Jefferson, we lived at 112 E. Milwaukee St. in an apartment above Luedtkes, Romaine said. That whole section of the building is now gone.

The roof used to leak and I can remember water coming in even when it was below zero, Tammy said.

But we loved that apartment and its nice big rooms, said daughter Sharon Garcia-Smith.

Tammy has held many jobs through the years, most recently working at Walmart. Before that, she worked in customer service at Generac and then Briggs and Stratton when it was purchased by that company.

I was a certified technician for Briggs and Stratton, working with small engines, and for my job in customer service, I talked to people from all over the world, Tammy said.

Romaine also held several jobs during the past few decades. He worked at Bradt Farms in Fort Atkinson for five years, then Derus Trucking in Fort Atkinson for three years. Then they had their own business, RTS Trucking, for four years.

He worked for Madison Truck Sales for 22 years and three months and recently moved to a new job with the Dane County Highway Department, driving plows and doing mechanical work.

The Smiths lives have been full of love and family, despite a long series of illnesses.

I first got sick in 2002, Tammy said. We thought it was just the flu, but it turned out my lung collapsed. Id lost 70 pounds in a few short months.

When she finally got medical care, Tammy was diagnosed with collagenous colitis, an inflammatory bowel disease. It was at that point the stress on her body came to a peak and she popped a lung.

She remained in Fort Memorial Hospital for months, but doctors were having trouble getting the lung to heal. Eventually, she was sent to St. Marys Hospital in Madison for specialty surgery, having part of her upper lung removed.

She spent two-and-a-half weeks at St. Marys, only to have her lung collapse again six months later.

Shortly thereafter, doctors found a tumor in her head after she experienced a loss in the ability to smell or taste. She was referred to a neurologist and an MRI revealed a meningioma.

They said it wasnt cancerous and we didnt have to do anything with it now, but at some point, it might have to be taken out, Tammy recalled.

A meningioma is a tumor that arises from the meninges  the membranes that surround the brain and spinal cord. Most meningiomas are benign.

That was good news, but shortly after that came the bad news  doctors had found cancer in her left lower lung.

Tammy underwent 35 days of radiation, emerging from that treatment in January of 2011.

Everything seemed to be going well for a while, but then I started experiencing heart problems, Tammy said. I had atrial fibrillation (an irregular heartbeat that causes poor blood flow to the body). They figured it was because of all the radiation Id had.

She also learned that she had Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD), which progressively restricts peoples ability to breathe.

Id been having problems, little by little, losing air, said Tammy, whos now on oxygen to help her breathe.

Finally came the worst news of all: Her cancer was back and had metastasized to her bones. It could not be cut out. As this progressed, Tammy was experiencing a lot of pain, so bad it made her cry, so she went through more radiation to shrink the tumor to ease the pressure. It did shrink, but could not completely eradicate it.

They zapped the heck out of it, Romaine said.

Meanwhile, Tammys COPD was getting worse. Her diagnosis was terminal, and the emphasis shifted from a cure that was not to be to making her comfortable at home with family.

The cancer will spread where it will spread, but Id rather be here than spending all my time in a hospital, Tammy said. This is where I want to be. This is my home.

Tammy said the Agrace care team is awesome.

I cant say enough about the people who take care of me. You can tell they care in everything they do, and I love them all.

Knowing the path she was on, family members started to take action to assure that some of Tammys dreams would be realized while she was still able to enjoy them.

My husband and I had always wanted to renew our vows, but we never had the money to do it, Tammy said.

Our daughter (Sharon Garcia-Smith) decided to take the ball and run with it, Romaine said.

With a lot of help from other relatives and friends, Garcia-Smith arranged for a modest renewal-of-vows ceremony at St. Marys in Sullivan and a reception afterward in the little hall behind the church.

Romaines sister, Chris Collins, helped to make the arrangements with the priest and hall, and everyone stepped in somehow to help with the food, flowers and decorations.

Meanwhile, Agrace Hospice used its Wish Program fund to purchase a new wedding dress for Tammy to make sure the big day was everything it should be.

We have something called the Wish Program, said Elizabeth Kopling, director of marketing and communication for Agrace. Knowing that was her wish, we helped to make it happen.

The bride wore her existing wedding band, a replacement for the original, which had been stolen.

Krueger Jewelers made it up again just like it was, Tammy said of the Fort Atkinson jewelry store.

Romaine presented her the new ring, in the old design but with a bigger diamond, for Christmas a few years ago.

Mr. Krueger let me bring it home and put it on the tree before I even knew if we could pay for it, Romaine said. Tammy had always handled the money, so I had to check with her  and she said yes.

It was just beautiful, she said.

The Smiths said that gesture of trust earned Krueger Jewelers a major purchase and their lifelong business.

The official renewal of vows took place on Oct. 24 of this year.

I figured 10 to 15 people were going to show up, Romaine said. Boy was I surprised to see the crowd.

We had enough chairs set up for 150 and we had to set up more, Garcia-Smith said. We had probably close to 200 people there.

My brother from New York came out, my friend from way up North ... Tammy said.

What made it super-special was seeing all the family get together, Romaine said.

Walking Tammy down the aisle were her father, James Jim Newkirk, and her young grandson, Romaine Garcia-Smith.

At the reception, there was nonstop laughing, dancing and eating, Tammy said.I loved sitting and watching the kids, the third and fourth generations, dancing on the dance floor. It was so cute.

Family members also recently worked together to fulfill another of Tammys wishes  to ride a horse again. A farm girl, she learned to ride when she was young and used to participate in rodeos.

Her daughters cousin, Jeremy Kermie Collins of Jefferson, helped set up the ride and everyone turned out.

The most important gift in all of this was bringing the family together, Romaine said. Family is what its all about.