leaveitallbehind

i need something to be.. good. i need something to feel right. i'm not depressed. i'm not.. my heart is not broken. i am not grieving. he's not dead. he's out there. he's living out his dreams and i know.. i know he's happy and that makes me feel proud of him. but there's this other feeling that doesn't completely feel fair or right or good. he goes on day in and day out happy, without me. but every morning i wake up and there's this pit, this.. feeling here that maybe my dreams are over, maybe i had my dreams and they're over now (...). now he's someplace else, and i let him go and it's good that i did. i mean it's better.. for him. but for me.. so i need something to be good. i need a reason to get up every morning to not crawl back to that cave that i was in before i met him. i mean, you know.. he saved me. so i just need something to be good.