My demons

The Cure - Burn

" I remember this cold day. It was February.

Like always I was trying to get their attention. Telling jokes, laughing, conversating with almost everyone.

But, like always, it was useless.

No one ever laughed back.

No one tried to make a conversation with me.

No one.

After lessons when everyone got back home I went to park.

Like always, alone.

I asked myself what I'm doing wrong.

Maybe I'm too pushy?

Or boring?

Or....

I was asking myself like that for almost an hour

but still, I couldn't find any good answer.

Why?

because nobody likes you.

Who is it? Show yourself!

i can not.

Why?

because i am you.

Me?

yes. thou you can not see me even when you are looking at mirror.

Why?

because i am your demon.

Demon?

yes. someone similiar to an alter ego. i can sense your happiness as well as sadness. i can read your mind and your thoughts. i can see what you see, smell what you smell, hear what you hear. i am you.

I have an alter ego?

everyone has. and you are like everyone else. almost.

Almost?

no one is the same. everyone has different personalities, hobbys, likings and dislikings. 

That souds sane. But what do you want from me?

nothing. i just want to talk with you a little.

About what?

about you. and your position in you school.

What about my position?

how should i say it? you are an eyesore to everyone in the class.

What? I'm not!

do you want to have a proof? well then. do you have any friend in your class?

No.

do you like your class?

Not really...

do you feel like anyone in class likes you?

...no.

see?

But it doesn't mean that I'm an eyesore.

look. you are always trying so hard to pay their attention. telling jokes, conversating...when they are talking they are standing in the circle but you are always outside that circle. am I lying?

...no...

see? i told you. for them you are an eyesore, someone who they do not approve. whatever you will do they will never like you.

But...why?

you are different than them. and they do not approve any differences. 

...so...what should I do now?

first of all you should stop your acting. do not talk to them, they are not worthy your precious time. stop pretending that you like them because you do not. understood?

Yes, but...

no "but's". it is a rule. they do not talk to you - you do not talk to them. it should be understandable with you.

It is, but that means that I'll be all alone in class.

so what?

...I don't like being lonely.

you will not be lonely. you have me. i will always be with you.

Always?

always.

And that day I met my demon."

Każdy ma w sobie demona który odzywa się w ważnych sytuacjach. Podpowiada nam co powinniśmy robić, jak powinniśmy myśleć, co powinniśmy czuć. Chce nami sterować by póżniej pogrązyć nas w otchłani własnej bezradności. Chce nas zniszczyć od środka.

A wydaje się być taki niewinny.