angry bird...

>.< Mam help! 

Just sitting here, thinking about all the "what if.."s... It really does my head in. :/ I don't understand why you didn't even say a word to me last night. I told you that I'm not mad anymore, why won't you just talk to me. I'm dying for it! I don't wanna say anything first, cause I think if you didn't say anything first then you don't wanna talk to me, so then I would onli annoy you. 

Even though you lied to me at the first place, and then you told me about it, I was as mad and upset... But then it just went away, because I realized how much I acutally like you, and how much you mean to me... You said you really like me, and I actually don' know how. I don't think I deserve ya. Yes, you made me mad and angry, but then I was thinking about it so much, and I came to a conclusion. I don't wanna lose you, and I don't wanna let you go, because I don't know if I will ever find someone like you again... 

It's actually so weird, cause you shoud be the one, who was meant to be sorry, but now I feel like it's all my falut, even though it's not. You said all them sweet and nice things to me, and they made me feel so nice. I really thought you feel like that, but you didn't even say a little stupid "hiya xxx" as you always used to. I feel really lonely and sad when I see you online, and you don't even make the effort to talk to me :'( You wouldn't annoy me, and if I didn't wanna talk to ya, I would simply tell ya this, but I never did, so there's nothing to be afraid when ya talk to me. I wouldn't think that I would ever meet a person like you. I met loads of lads, but never a one who would be like you. I've been broken-hearted so many times, but when I'm with you, I feel kind of comfortable, and I'm not scared to get involved. I'm not scared of you breaking my heart... I don't know if you would, the only thing I can do, is just hope that you never will. 

I miss all our little deep meaning conversations. You made me smile so much. Even when ya said something like "hi" or whatever, my heart filled with joy and happiness. I couldn't stop smiling. I love the way you always send me "x's" at the end of each message, even when it is just loads of dots, you send "x's" after that aswell. I think it's as cute :') 

I think I must be the luckiest girl in the world, but sometimes, I feel like shit. It's hard to go few days without talking to you... I'm slowly dying inside. If you only knew how much you mean to me, and what I would do, just to have a little conversation with you <3 You can always, I mean ALWAYS make me smile, no matter what you say, every little thing makes me as happy. 

Is it okay to forgive someone who lied to you? Is it okay to give them a second chance, because they sweared they will never lie to you again? What if they told you the truth, because as they said, they didn't want to lie to you anymore, and they didn't want any lies between both of yas? Is it okay? Or maybe in other words, is it okay to forgive a person you cannot imagine your life without, and who you like so much, and never wanna lose them? Is it?! I really hope it is... Cause that's what I did. Forgave him.

Is it okay to like someone who is younger than you? And they lied to you about their age, just for you to like them, cause they think you are gorgoues and they really really like you. Is age just a number? Is age just an issue on your mind, and if you don't mind, it just doesn't matter? Does love not have age limit? Does love not care about the age? If you really like someone, age should be the last thing you should be worried about :) And that's a way to go... 

Every fucking single song I hear, reminds me of you... No matter what I'm doing, you are always on my mind. It gets annoying! 

It's actually so weird, how much I can say just about you, and only one thing that happened. I don't know if it's love yet, I think I just like you. Don't think it's love yet. Yeah, exactly. YET! What if it happens? What will I do then? What if I'm gonna be heart broken again? Is that why I should just stop thinking, and just go for it? 

Here, I'm gonna be going now... See yas all... Hope you won't read all that shit up there ^ 

Cheers if you didn't... Just wrote it, to get it out of me, and I'd say no-one will be bothered to read it all, and I think no-one will acutally understand. 

Bye people. c: YOLO! And if you are upset just say "ahh sure FISH" and keep going :) 

Marta <3